Wednesday, February 10, 2010

death wish (so called)


mother's mad. yelling. the maids observe pryingly from the kitchen. you have to begin taking care of yourself, she says, one hand on the hip. you want to die? you have a death wish? is that what this is?

this is anything but a death wish. if anything, it's an attempt to live. to live.

I've written four songs tonight. about poor people (about healthy people - happy people). all this money and nothin to spend it on.

someone said they liked my song Ghosts on my myspace. thank you, whoever you are, dear anonymous. hope you're well. hope you're happy. and with that, far more wealthy than I'll ever be.

27 comments:

  1. Are you real? Ficticious or not, your mind is beautiful. I hope things turn out alright. I'm sure they will :)

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  2. your blog really is incredible, i'm following and reading every time you post something new. the photography is amazing. your song is great too.
    hope your well
    xoxo

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  3. Parents are like that (I've learnt it the hard way...), they'd ask the most terrible, hurtful questions because they want to be reassured that everything is all right. The bottom line in such question is this: "see, this is what you made me think about, this is how desperate you made me, this is how I hurt because of you". Sometimes I wonder whether it's premeditated action, or they don't know they are so good at making their child feel so guilty....?

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  4. Nice text, your writing is always very deep :)

    take care

    kiss

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  5. Wow...I'm...speechless, flattered, and simultaneously suddenly grateful. *You* love MY blog? To have discovered *yours* on a day like today, when it turns out all I really needed was the perfect poetry of a stranger...

    I must simply say thank you, to both you AND the fates that have brought us here.

    <3

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  6. that was me who said I liked your ghost song.
    and please keep writing and recording music. your'e so talented

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  7. thank you for your comment; i can say the same about yours. there is a poetry to your words that i love.

    money is a problem whether you have too much or too little. real wealth is something elusive i'm still trying to find.

    xx x

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  8. first: how do i get to your myspace?

    second: you can spend it on shoes and send me pics so i can fall in love over and over again.

    xxx
    t

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  9. I'm curious:

    If you're fifteen, how old are Andrei and Catalena?

    Fifteen seems much too young to be fleeing to Europe, and this sentiment sparked my curiosity.

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  10. I just wanted to say that I find your blog so intriguing :) Following of course :)
    xoxo,
    Lindsay

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  11. i wish i could write songs but i'm not gifted enough. i'm a little jealous of your talent. :)

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  12. I love your writing style.

    It blows my mind that you're 15. The one's who are too old for their age die young, be careful beautiful girl ;)

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  13. I think no one should tell you to care about yourself, because you will only care about it if you love yourself :P


    http://www.ohmydior.org/

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  14. Kassandra, Andrei's 18. (have to say it felt strange to read his name in a comment like that, have been trying to avoid his name the last couple of days)
    Catalena, however, is my age, fifteen.

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  15. i gave it a listen and i really love your 'ghosts' song.

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  16. Little lost girl. The song still haunts me.

    I hope that one day you'll be happy.

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  17. wow. I don't even have words, just... wow!

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  18. i love your both songs- they touch my heart
    and you have a beautiful voice. how did you make the background music? by yourself?
    cannot wait your next post. xx, m

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  19. hi beautiful one. so i made it to myspace last nite and oh my. speechless. i LOVE your music (and i never capitalize). i had the lion and the lamb (?) song in my head all night. my husband even loved you and he is a music producer. you're style is like no other and your voice is heavenly. such talents you possess.

    xxx
    t

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  20. dear anonymous, thank you so much for your kind words. it makes me sentimental to know someone cares. and yes, I've made it all myself.

    apparellel, your comments always make my day. the funny thing is that the night before I wrote the lion-lamb song, I too had it in my head all night. I'm honored that you listened, thank you so much for that.

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